Gender Myths

After some discussion, we decided to stay in the small minority of expectant parents and not discover what the gender is of our baby during the ultrasound. This was a bit of a surprise to some of our friends, who thought this was antithetical to our no-nonsense, practical side. However, as one friend succinctly put it, there are so few genuinely nice surprises in life, and this is one of them.

No peeking during the ultrasound, and our technician didn’t give any hints – we closed our eyes during the crucial waving of the wand. Jaclyn’s Orthodox cousins also shun the new technology, citing God’s will. It’s probably a bit more prosaic and psychological astute than that. Most of the time, the pregnancy ends up OK – but the minute you start assigning a gender (and a name), emotional attachment sets in, expectations (both social and gender) are formed, and if ever a miscarriage takes place, then what is a hard task to overcome emotionally becomes a lot harder to bear.

In any event, Jaclyn’s decision to forgo new technology opened the door to myths and old wife’s tales that are more suited to medieval Europe than 21st century Silicon Valley. In the midst of one of the most technologically advanced, science-is-religion areas of our country, people routinely spout myths and superstitions handed down from one generation to the next.

Jaclyn hears things all of the time – such as the way her belly is hanging (high or low), the color of her pee, if she has sweet or sour cravings, whether the baby’s heartbeat is fast or faster, how much acne she’s been getting, etc., etc. One person even offered to perform a parlor trick, swinging a ring on a string pendulum over her belly. All of these answers are supposed to tell you if it’s a boy or girl. She’s been a good sport during the questioning phases, but respectfully declined the ring pendulum parlor trick, though I think she still needs to do it, like getting your palm read or a Tarot reading – creepy and cool at the same time.

What I find surprising is not this sort of nonsense, but the eagerness in which people jump at the opportunity to partake in myths and superstitions once science and fact are ushered out of the room. Joseph Campbell says that myths are our public dreams. In tech-obsessed California, it seems people are so eager to dip back into the myths and stories that sustained us for so long. In fact, how could we have known what the gender was a baby for the past thousands of years except using these myths as a fount of imagination?

Paradoxically, our decision not to know infuses the whole pregnancy with more mystery – and that has drawn more reaction from people than an ultrasound ever can. Oh, yes – it’s going to be a boy, judging by the answers.