Obsession, For Parents

I never understood the Calvin Klein Obsession perfume ads, connoting mystery, seduction, and beaches. I think for the most part various obsessions have a limited range, beginning at boring and ending at creepy.

So Jaclyn and I vowed not to be “that” new parent – like sublimating our identity by changing our Facebook profile picture to that of the newborn, or boring non-parent friends to tears with the latest diaper change alerts or news about “tummy time”.

Judging by our behavior with Dalton, our new cat (AKA baby version 0.5), we have failed spectacularly. The first sign of trouble was when both of us broke spontaneously into singing Mozart’s Serenade #13 with they lyrics “meow, meow-meow” to keep the cat entertained on its first night home. The second sign was setting up a new Facebook profile exclusively for Dalton and posting comments on it from the cat’s perspective. That’s healthy, right?

The more we have the cat around the house, the more I see it as a training practice for the real thing – a simulator before sliding into the cockpit. So I’ve made a list about how a cat (or dog), changes one’s life, and realized that this can be interchangeable with a newborn:

5) your schedule irrevocably changes, even at the most intimate times, like sleep – because of the cat. During work and other events, all you want to do is rush back home and be with kitty.

4) wiping poo off the cat’s butt during litter accidents is unbelievably gross, but it doesn’t feel that way because the Oxytocin “cuddle chemical” takes over your brain.

3) you feel that your cat is the smartest, cutest, and most athletic cat of all time, indeed, throughout history. You actively work to make your kitty the next “Maru the Cat” YouTube sensation.

2) photos and video of your cat adorn your real and cyberlife, and you don’t hesitate to show them to friends, co-workers, and strangers, whether solicited or not.

1) you have no idea how a 7-pound furball waltzed into your life and taken over your emotions completely.

Finally, we used to laugh at enforced “date nights” that keep new parents’ relationship balanced and sane. Until we had our first non-cat date in a month. I think we’re ready for that kid already, and for all the obsessions that come along with it. It may not be mysterious, seductive, or “beachy”, but it’s sure a lot of fun.